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Appreciation: An Oasis in the Chaos

Via TJC


We continue this week’s strategies for Resolving Conflict in marriage/families.


Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. ~ Colossians 3:19 (ESV)


Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. ~1 Peter 3:7


Today we discuss an important facet of marriage, appreciation. None of us can read each other's minds so we have to outwardly communicate our appreciation to our spouse. Otherwise, how will they know how we feel? I gravitate toward this topic because I have appreciation down to a science in my marriage. If I haven’t hugged or kissed my wife and told her she is doing an amazing job, because she is, within the past hour then I am overdue. At that moment, I focus on her entirely. I love the sweet smile she gets and the few moments of relaxation we share before diving back into the day. 


Even when she does what she considers “her jobs, I thank her for her efforts and time. “Thank you for talking.” “Thank you for cooking and cleaning.” “Thank you for coming to bed.” My habit came from the realization that at the end of every day, no matter what happened, she feels inadequate. She uses all her energy dealing with four small maniacs and their problems, bouncing from situation to situation and by the end of the day, most of the things on her list are still unfinished and she is too drained to tackle them. Then the feeling of being a failure overshadows the joys of the day. The feeling hits her hard especially when I travel for work and cannot help with the mental and physical load. Since I know what she goes through, I acknowledge her triumphs and efforts as often as I can. She knows that I actively see her working and am grateful for her and happy when she wins the day.   


Daily Battle Order:

Today, consciously acknowledge your spouse multiple times with small thank yous.  Do not pile them all on at once but gradually throughout the day with an accompanying hug or kiss. Let her know that you see her and appreciate her work and effort.  


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